


Kokichi's Help

by Isaac_Not_Newton



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Dark Thoughts, F/M, First Crush, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Sad Oma Kokichi, Sad Saihara Shuichi, Sad with a Happy Ending, Spoilers, Unclear, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-12
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-11-02 03:34:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20608250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Isaac_Not_Newton/pseuds/Isaac_Not_Newton
Summary: After the first Trial, Shuichi has difficulty coping with Kaede's death. He goes to her Lab to seek comfort, but someone else manages to help him and rekindle his determination to end the killing game.  //Spoilers for the first chapter also, the Kaede/Shuichi part is really minor





	Kokichi's Help

**Author's Note:**

> If you see any mistakes, please alert me.  
Feedback is appreciated.  
I also really need to think of better titles.  
Once again, I did not beta this but more importantly, I hope you can enjoy this story.

Shuichi always told himself to respect his limits, but he always had difficulty respecting that. If he didn’t want to change, he wouldn’t and he made sure about it. He respected himself, but with gentle encouragement from the right people, he would be more open to the changes proposed. He wasn’t entirely open to these kinds of changes, but if it was for the best he would do it. He really thought that it was nice and a great step forward when Kaede started helping him. It led to being more confident and ultimately finished with a now Kaedead and no more hat on his head. But he didn’t explain to anyone what really happened after the class trial

He had gone around the school, perfectly aware that he was in plain sight and honestly, he didn’t think he could stay cooped up. Kaede’s Ultimate Lab waited for him to enter. He could almost feel her soothing spirit call out to him and he smiled, remembering Kaede’s gentle encouragement and her blatant determination. Even now, he could still hear her and feel her close to him, saying that if she could, she would make him listen to that piece. 

He went to the shelf and went to grab the CD. His eyes were burning a bit and the tears made it kind of hard to see, but he got it. He was reminded of just how short the time he had spent with her was and smiled sadly at the piano that captured the light of the room. He would’ve liked to have heard her play the piano, even if it was only once. If possible, more than once. He had had a crush on her, he was fairly certain of that, especially after she’d held his hand like that, but that crush was guiltily crushed away. What kind of sick person would still have a crush on a dead person? He was aware that he didn’t actually feel that way, but he couldn’t help but want to hurt himself verbally.

In the end, it all came circling back to him. Him and his infernal plan and idea to get Kaede involved. Had he refused her help, this might’ve gone much better. The CD started its first note then, he would’ve broken down, had he not been so lost in thoughts. He could feel that he was close to, but something about the piano prevented him from doing so. Perhaps it was the soothing attitude of Kaede that transferred into the piano? He was being ridiculous, but he couldn’t help it. Kaede was important to him and now, he had lost her.

Perhaps he had also lost his head, he wouldn’t be too surprised about it. He missed her to a point where he felt like Kaede was standing next to him and trying to cheer him up. His mind kept flashing back to Kaede, her determined smile, her cute movements meant to cheer him up. He wouldn't lie, he knew that it was partially also for herself. He thought about her and wanted to smile, but it was hard, especially the idea that if she had been here next to him, she would’ve told him that it was okay and to keep aiming forwards so that he could escape with all their friends.

“Why were you so selfless…” He didn’t manage to finish his sentence, choking on a sob that burned his throat with how much it wanted to come out. He knew that he should condition himself to think that he would help the others and himself escape and that he should’ve started thinking about a plan already, but with his state of mind, he wasn’t able to.

“Akamatsu-san,” a soft sigh escaped his lips. It hurt incredibly much, the one who gave him most of his determination was now gone. It was like the hope had vanished out of him, which he wasn’t too sure didn’t happen. He felt like Rantaro might have had an accurate hunch about ending the killing game, but even that was over and because of who? Partially Kaede but most importantly, partially him. 

Had he just kept his plan to himself, he would’ve seemed suspicious, but Kaede wouldn’t have killed Rantaro. Rantaro might’ve found a way to save all of them, but his efforts were thwarted by the determined Kaede. It hurt, how can such a kind and affectionate end up being blackened. He didn’t really need to ask himself the question. 

He felt the tears well up and slowly drip down, as if unsure whether he was allowed to cry or not. The sound of the piano played across the room, meant to cheer him up, but it was currently doing the reverse. It was incredibly painful and by now, he was sure his train of thoughts had repeated themselves at least a million times, but he couldn’t just wipe it away like this. It really was his mistake that sent Kaede tumbling down a dark road, it was he who sent her to her death, even if it was by her request. The Ultimate Pianist would die an unfair death for the sake of someone else. 

“It hurts, Akamatsu-san,” he whispered. He knew it was unfair to think this way, but he almost wanted someone else to have died and confessed that they were the actual killer. At least they would’ve all died together.

“But I don’t want to die,” the guilty words slipped out. He wanted to turn back time, tell Kaede that she shouldn’t be so selfless and to admit that she was the blackened so at least she could escape. He grimaced, knowing full well how unfair that would’ve been for Amami-kun. In the end, they were right, everyone was focused on Kaede’s death, but Rantaro deserved to be thought about too. He had died just because he wanted to save everyone and stop the killing game.

He laughed, surprising even himself. He grew afraid of that laugh because he couldn’t control it as if it had come from a deeper part within himself that he wasn’t aware off. A thought crossed his mind: «Isn’t this exactly what you wanted?” 

He shook his head in denial, he would never want the death of Kaede and Rantaro. He didn’t hear the door to the Ultimate Pianist’s Lab open. Neither did he hear the soft sobbing that escaped whoever it was that was standing behind him. That person immediately noticed Shuichi however and dried up his tears as best as he could. He practiced his expressions a bit and took a determined step forward.

“Nishishi! Saihara-chan! I didn’t peg you for an emotional one,” Kokichi’s voice came out a bit more hoarse than usual, but Shuichi in his distraught mind didn’t notice it. 

“This really isn’t the time Oma-kun, leave me alone,” Shuichi’s tone surprised even Kokichi. Said male, however, did not leave and went to close the door to the Ultimate Lab.

“Saihara-chan, I have something to tell you,” Kokichi’s voice dropped to a slightly more serious tone. He didn’t exactly want Shuichi to think he was joking and if Shuichi took his advice and concern wrong, he could just pretend he was lying, run away and go cry somewhere else. Probably his own dorm room or maybe he could and ignore another one of the remaining 14.

“What?” Even being this out of it, Kokichi could see just how untrusting Shuichi was of him. He didn’t hold it against the Ultimate Detective, but it still jabbed him kind of wrong. It shouldn’t have, he deserved it and he knew that it was bound to be coming at one point, but still, it was hard to actually face. He wouldn’t let that show however, this wasn’t about him, this was about Saihara-chan.

“Shu, Akamatsu-chan didn’t die because of you. You can think about it like that, but think outside of your narrow little box! She died in an effort to protect all her friends. Will you really dishonor her like this? Didn’t she want us all to keep our heads up and escape this place together? Come on ShuShu, don’t tell me you’re afraid of saying the truth? So what if the culprits hate you? In the end, you’re protecting who you care about! And that’s exactly what Akamatsu-chan wanted. Even though I’m pretty sure she didn’t like me very much, she still wanted to leave with all of us, including me! So don’t forget your promises that I’m sure you made to her. Live on and honor her words,” Kokichi spewed out in one go. Things had gotten a little personal by the end of it, but Kokichi couldn’t help it. 

He also missed Kaede, she seemed to be okay with his antics, but he knew better. Kaede only tolerated him, he was sure that if he had posed any problems to their escape, she wouldn’t have hesitated to let him go and cut him off. It didn’t matter however, he could see that Shuichi was appreciating his words. The detective didn’t even get mad at his nicknames for him. He was kind of happy and slightly nervous about the detective. He wouldn’t want him to sink into depression, he was someone that should keep the group together in name of Kaede, not let the boat sink.

“Oma-kun,” Shuichi muttered in honest appreciation, but Kokichi wasn’t used to this kind of attitude, so he did what a logical person would do. Panic and try to escape, it worked in the past so why wouldn’t it work now? He was sure he would make it before Shuichi could stop him, but maybe Shuichi had predicted the move because he moved in between Kokichi and the door. Honestly, he would admit to himself that it wasn’t a very logical choice nor was it really bright, but he wouldn’t let anyone else know about his true thoughts.

“I mean, your girlfriend was working very hard to keep us all alive. If she hadn’t, we’d all be dead by now. I know it’s not good to talk like this about someone who’s dead, but if Amami hadn’t become the sacrifice, we’d all be dead. We should honor both Rantaro and Kaede because or else their death would’ve meant nothing! I don't want their deaths to go to waste, they’ve already laid out a nice little pavement for us and I mean! I mean, you should be more confident in yourself, I’m sure there’s a mastermind!” Kokichi yelled out. He felt like the world was spinning. His own dialogue had made himself feel a bit dizzy, but that was good too because now he couldn’t see Shuichi’s disappointed look.

“Thank you Oma-kun, I really did need that last bit of a push,” Shuichi’s reply came as clear as day, making a pass through all the haziness that occupied Kokichi’ mind. He felt like a storm and Shuichi was the light that carried everyone’s happiness into his clouded mind. He was grateful, describing this feeling was hard. The way he just did was childish, but it was the closest he could get to what he really felt. It was like Shuichi’s voice could pierce through his veil of lies. Which he undoubtedly could, but that once again wasn’t the right way to describe it. He was getting anxious about his own thoughts so he did what he did best, he put on a mask.

“What? Did I hear wrong? Is the Ultimate Detective thanking me?” Kokichi was sweating slightly, from how nervous he felt. He could feel just how clammy his hands were and honestly, he just wanted to run away from Shuichi and his handsome face. This wasn’t the time to think about it, but the smile Shuichi offered him made it all worthwhile. His facade was easily seen through by Shuichi who seemed to have chosen to ignore his last few rambly sentences.

“Seriously, your words really reached me. I feel much better now, I knew I had to survive for Kaede, but it was getting a bit too much. I couldn’t help but feel that it was my fault, but being reminded that it was also done for our sake so that we could escape and find a way to defeat the mastermind really did help. It seems that when I get emotionally encompassed, I forgot about reasons like that. It was the same during the murder case I solved, the hatred and the backstory of the crime really ate at me, but Kaede helped me. This time I had you to help me, thank you Oma-kun,” Shuichi smiled and approached Kokichi. The dropping of honorifics didn’t go unnoticed, but neither of the 2 was going to comment about it.

“Uhhhh! Saihara-chan! It’s a lie, I don’t actually care about Akamatsu-chan and Amami-chan,” it really did hurt for a flitting second. It really did, he didn't mean it, of course, he didn’t, both Kaede and Rantaro had been nothing but pleasant to be around. He regretted his words immediately but he couldn’t change his wording anymore, he felt his facial muscles twitch involuntarily and he gazed up at Shuichi in fear of him seeing it. The detective didn’t give away anything, which made Kokichi put his head down againé

He silently prayed to Kaede and Rantaro, maybe even Atua, and hoped they’d hear his heartfelt apology. He gritted his teeth, waiting for a small while and gave Shuichi the time to decide to punch him, but the detective didn’t. What the detective was concerned about was the unhealthy way Kokichi would create problems for himself. It must have been his reflexes kicking in because he saw the way Kokichi flinched at his own words, but right now, he had to get into a more stable mindstate before he could help Kokichi. 

He felt no guilt for that. Shuichi wasn’t going to help Kokichi if he wasn’t sure what would come out of his mouth. He cared about the other one and wouldn’t risk hurting the other boy just because he thought he could help. He would show it in another way, he knew he would, the timing just wasn’t right. Also, he didn’t exactly have a good idea of what he would do.

“I know that’s a lie, look at me won’t you,” Shuichi asked and Kokichi did. He lifted up his head to look at the taller boy and was surprised at just how tender that smile was. It made his heartache, he wouldn’t allow himself, however, to share his feelings that easily. Shuichi was the one in pain and right now, he was there to shower him with love and attention. His own feelings could come later. He knew that he wouldn’t, but that didn’t matter.

“Nishishi! You caught me,” Kokichi smiled, but Shuichi didn’t fall for his switch in personality. At the moment, he didn’t want Kokichi to distract him enough so that he could run away. Gently, as if not hurt him, Shuichi grabbed both sides of Kokichi’s head and bent down to give him a kiss on the top of his head. Kokichi couldn’t help the blush that grew on his cheeks, but he definitely did know Shuichi would be the death of him by being so soft. Under normal circumstances, Kokichi might’ve jokingly asked Shuichi if he liked him, but he felt like it was too soon.

He wasn’t stupid, he knew when people needed time, it was a matter of whether or not he wanted to let the others have their time or not. That’s what he told himself, but he knew it wasn’t the full truth. Had Shuichi confessed to him at the moment, Kokichi was sure he would’ve turned it down. He would’ve told Shuichi to confess another time when his mind was more stable. It would hurt if Shuichi didn’t come back, but he could live with that. He could live with anything as long as he fed himself his own lies. 

He would respect Shuichi, whichever answer it was and honestly, he was glad Shuichi didn’t try to kiss anywhere else. Kokichi would’ve most likely hurt the other more by saying that and honestly, he didn’t want to see Shuichi cry anymore. It was weird how much another person could change you, or at least influence you. Kokichi smiled and forced the blush away, he was pretty sure he didn’t succeed, but if he was blushing, Shuichi either didn’t notice, didn’t see or just didn’t tell him. He was fine with that, he wouldn’t want to embarrass himself further than he already had.

“Have a good night, Oma-kun, I’ll see you tomorrow,” Shuichi smiled and returned to his usual straight self. Kokichi singsonged back what Shuichi said to him, if he stuttered, Shuichi definitely wouldn’t be the one who’d tell him.

-Extra-

“I’m happy that Shuichi finally got himself back on track!” Kaede did her usual move.

“I’m happy too, but I was surprised that the one who actually caught him and placed him back on track was Kokichi,” Rantaro laughed.

“That’s a good point, It really didn’t expect Kokichi to go into that room and help Shuichi. I honestly thought that Shuichi would’ve kicked him out or something,” Kaedead’s face was pensive.

“That’s true, I was also expecting an anti-climatic story like that, but I can’t say that I didn’t think this was possible,” Rantaro replied. 

“Hey, now that they’ve mentioned it, are you mad that I killed you? I’m really sorry about that, I really thought you were the mastermind,” Kaede apologized.

“Don’t worry about it. What’s done is done, but what I’m afraid about that is those down there. I get a feeling that the killing game will end soon,” Rantaro’s expression turned dark.

“What do you mean Amami-kun?” Kaede asked, expression changing to one of panic. Rantaro could see her interior gears turning.

“Don’t worry too much, let’s just watch them go,” Rantaro sent Kaede a smile that she returned with another one. For now, however, things would be how they wanted it.

**Author's Note:**

> If you have any requests or prompts you'd like for me to write, you can private message me on Instagram (isaac_not_newton3) or Tumblr (isaacnotnewton3). You can also reach me if you have any questions you'd like to ask me. Thank you for reading.


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